Famous sufferers

I've woken up this morning to the news that Robin Williams has died (Sky News: Robin Williams dies),  apparently suicide (reading between the lines, it sounds like he hung himself). The report says he had been "battling severe depression of late". So so sad. A reminder to all those who think depression is caused by not having enough money, or can be "fixed" by being more "fun".

My Facebook newsfeed is full of Robin Williams tributes. There are two types: those remembering their favourite Robin Williams characters and quotes; and those that draw attention to the "anyone can have depression" fact. Please lets use this sad occasion to talk more about mental health.

Do famous people help?

While internet surfing I came across this blog. It's an interesting discussion that I hadn't thought of before. That sometimes the people we are told to find inspirational aren't because they are not within our own sphere of reference. But it's true, the "famous" sufferers I relate to are not necessarily the ones chosen for me. Or at least not for the reasons I am told to find them inspirational.

Robin Williams was an exceptionally talented, funny man. But given this new information (that he had severe depression) I can see a man desperately trying to divert attention from himself by making people laugh. I can see elements of that in myself - I like talking to people but I studiously avoid the subject of myself (or at least anything personal).

Other famous sufferers I find interesting are: 

First of all there is Stephen Fry - an obvious choice, but not because I'm told to. True, Ive always been fascinated by Stephen Fry, perhaps because I grew up with "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" and "Jeeves and Wooster", perhaps because, like me he likes learning about things, but most of all, it was one tv programme I saw him do - about bipolar, he was interviewing this person and that person and generally being Stephen fry, but then there is a shot of him in his car - he turns to the camera and says "I'm having a really bad day, I'd rather be anywhere but here right now" and you see him literally struggle to get out of the car. THAT is depression - that made me take him on as my champion. Not because he s Stephen fry and he happens to have a mental illness, but because he has the same symptoms as me. Behind the happy smily face and "look at me" personality - there's someone who struggles to get out bed - not necessarily everyday, but some days. 

Then there's Robbie Williams. Another well known sufferer. And I'd love him even if he wasn't, let me just admit that! I saw him play in Glasgow and he was fantastic. He came on stage and said the doctor had given him an injection because he wasn't feeling great. It was only years later that he admitted that he'd been really ill (he didn't tour for years after that and went into hiding in LA for years and years) and wanted to cancel the tour but had been told it would cost him a million pounds so he'd had the drugs (and later admitted becoming addicted to prescription drugs). I love him because he's showing his disability for all to see (although most choose to ignore it) while getting on and doing an amazing job and causing everyone to love him. 

And finally Marian Keyes (the author). I don't know if she's OUT as a depression sufferer but I'm telling you now - she's had it at sometime or another. In her book "This Charming Man" there is an excerpt that can only have been written by someone who knows what it feels like. I read it and thought - omg that's me, she's writing about me. Shes also interesting because shes not in the public eye but chooses to hide behind the characters in her books. A habit I do - I create "characters" - "outside Nic", "facebook Nic"and so on. If Im not up to the effort of putting them on, I hide.

A few years ago Gary Speed (Wales football manager) committed suicide, apparently out of the blue, although evidence afterwards showed there had been some possible warning signs but they had been dismissed by family and friends as "normal ups and downs". He had been finding aspects of his job stressful.

Thats why I am supporting the Time to Change Wales campaign to end stigma and discrimination of mental health and encourage people to talk about it more. Whatever our walk of life, we can find our jobs stressful - we mustnt be afraid to speak out. If Gary Speed had spoken to his bosses (and they had been sympathetic) perhaps they could have put support measures in place and two children could still have their father alive.

It would have been nice for Robin Williams to have been here to see the outpouring of love he is receiving today. But I suspect it wouldnt have helped, people tell me all the time how amazing I am, I dont believe them and the guilt of being a fraud makes me feel worse. But I hope his death means less people think depression can be "snapped out of" or that "you cant be depressed when youre smiling and laughing"